Every one who knows me knows that I'm working to become a teacher. I want to better the world and I believe that it starts with the youth. I want to help kids that no one else wants to help.

Vacation time is good, too. I would get time to travel (somewhat) and be with my family and friends. I will have great benefits.


But my deep down passion, what I would absolutely love to do if I could, would be to act. I love acting, I love playing pretend, I dream of someday maybe being able to be a big time hollywood hotshot. I fantasize about what I would do with the money, help my family, big donations to my home town school (they lack programs that kids need other than sports), charities, places I could go, the people I could meet.

I want to be a teacher, I'm stoked at the thought of once I'm finally able to teach and have my own classroom, how I'll set it up, make lesson plans...but a part of me wishes that I could get discovered. I hope that doesn't sound selfish or conceited, but thats my deep down dream career.

Gerard Schwind saved my life. He led a group called Alternatives to Violence at my high school. At the time I smoked a lot of pot, drank a lot, and cut myself. I was pretty messed up in my head. In a lot of ways I was trying to find myself. I was looking for information on how to lead a better life. Alternatives to Violence was a program designed to help troubled teens by showing them how violence forms, what is violence, realizing the values in yourself and others, helping people around you and much more. There were two groups, the voluntary group and the mandatory group. I was voluntary. I learned so much. The best part was that Gerard was a real human being. He wasn't shallowly preaching to us, he'd been there- to the bottom. He's a Vietnam vet, recovered alcoholic and drug abuser, and admits to abusing his ex wife. He realized his actions were horrible and went down the path to change his life. He formed ATV to help kids before they went too far down that road. The big kicker for me was when he took us down to Farmington Hills to the Holocaust museum. The images I saw and the stories I heard from actual survivers, it was amazing. After witnessing the horror that was the holocaust, these people still had hope for the future, in us, to spread peace. It was amazing and aweinspiring. I became more interested in helping people. We were able to send carepackages to people in India after the Tsunami and to people in need after Katrina. We were a small school with very little money, but we did what we could. I learned that if everybody did what they could this world would be a much better place. I learned to respect myself more. I no longer smoke pot, cigarettes, but I do drink once in a blue moon, not like I used to. It's been three years since I felt the desire to self mutilate (unless you count tattoos, I like to believe that my tattoos tell the story of my growth, but my tattoos need there own section to explain).

I still see Gerard from time to time. Its nice that he still knows my name, my woes, my dreams, and where I'm at in my life. He knows that about all his "kids" (my school wasn't the only school, he worked with five other schools in the region).

If Gerard Schwind did not have ATV at my high school, god only knows where I'd be. Because of him, I saw value in myself and weight in my actions. Because of him, I see the potential in myself to help the world, in whatever I do.

I like to draw or watch a light hearted comedy (Stranger than Fiction or Cheaper by the Dozen or my pick up movies)

But what does it the best is sing out loud in my car to something way happy and spunky, like the Kinks "Lola" or the Archies "Sugar, Sugar". I don't just mean singing out loud, I mean belting it out like an American Idol finalist, with the windows down, while stopped at a red light, in the middle of rush hour in Traverse City. The look on other peoples' faces are priceless and garanteed to make you laugh! Instant perk up!

I also like to splurge on expensive chocolate.


Sure beats smoking!

I'm at the age where nothing makes sense to me. I do not feel like an adult, I am in a sea of information and trying to peice together what makes sense to me. Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever find it out, or if this is a phase that will go on for as long as I go on.

Right now, I'm on my way to the bar (I'm  the designated driver), but I have to work in the morning and I barely know the people I'm going with. (I just know they'd go either way and I don't want them driving drunk!

It depends on what vibes I get. I say vibes for lack of a better word. If someone just makes me feel...weird, I will probably not pursue a friendship with them at first, but I'll give it more time, because my initial feeling maybe off. It's not judging a book by it's cover. It's just a feeling, like, can I be safe around this person. If been in situations before where I just didn't feel right and I stayed there and wound up getting hurt. I will never not listen to my inner self again, but in good nature I may proceed with caution.