I'm still going through it. Ever since I've entered this "real world" I've had trouble dealing with my limitations and I've discovered things about myself that I am having trouble dealing with. I always thought of myself as a calm and peaceful person, but faced with challenges I'm bitter and angry. I denied that I was and it took a very good friend who loved me enough to point it out. I realized that I never was a peaceful and calm person, I just bottled my emotions and let them out by getting high and partying too much. Now that I'm trying obtain my goals, I've stopped doing drugs, and now that the rose colored glasses are taken off I see more of myself for who I really am. It scares me because I'm a stranger to me. My transformation isn't done yet- I don't know if will ever come to a close. Do we ever stop changing, developing, becoming more intune/out of tune with ourselves? All I do know is that I know what I was and that's not who I want to be, I want to be ME! :)

My life to start. I kept waiting for the moment for everything to begin... I didn't realize that ' yes I'm alive, It's happening before my eyes.' I had to realize the only person who lived my life was me and I can't wait for everything to fall into place. If I want something, I need to go for it.

When I was a kid I went through this stage where I hated to be dirty. It lasted until about a month ago. Working in the daycare really has brought out the messy marvin in me. I still have finger paint smeared on my arm by three year old Korbin, my hair is sticking up in funny directions because five little girls wanted to play with my hair, my feet are covered in dirt from chasing kids on the playground. Did I mention I've been home for six hours? I'll take a shower soon, but right now I'm rejoicing in my own personal growth and how much fun I've had today!

Sad to say but TV. I won't even like what I'm watching but I'll sit there in a zombie stupor watching the pretty lights and the unrealistic made up scenerios. I become anxious to find out what will come next. Seriously, it one of the biggest reasons why I run late and why I don't do things. It's like a drug to me. I become addicted and it's a major distraction from my life, not that my life is awful, I enjoy my life. I don't know, maybe this is something I need to think about more. I wonder how much of ours lives do we miss watching reruns? I think I'm going to add this to my goal list.

I want peace
End of deseases
No more genocide, homicide, suicide
End of Hunger

For people to pursue their dreams
For all children to be able to wake up in the morning and feel loved and safe
No more rape or abuse

For neighbors helping one another
For governments working together
For every person who is in need to no longer have to struggle

For every person to have an equal shot in life
No more wars fought in the name of God, oil, peace
How can you fight a war in the name of peace?

For all people to be educated
Instead of being dumbed down
For every person to be able to have the luxury to take a deep breath and relax
No worries

Getting up, going to work, coming home, go to bed- repeat. I have the urge to be a lot more spontaneous. I've been working on it today. I don't want my life to follow a set pattern or routine. My life should not be defined by my work.